I am somewhere between a sophomore and a senior at the University of Arizona studying a major with too many syllables, minoring in Spanish. I found out about this position through suggestions of slightly connected family members and/or judicious Googling, and I would like you to PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HIRE ME for this job.
Since I Googled your company, I have found that it aligns with my interests in making money and staying busy. I have experience in making money from previous jobs, and in staying busy from schoolwork and avoiding chores at home. I could fill this space with unrelenting butt-kissing, but I think you probably get enough of that already. However, I promise you I have researched your company thoroughly and that I would fit in absolutely perfectly - no doubt about it. Your company culture aligns exactly with my values. When hired, I will do whatever you want me to (within reason, of course) because I am always a team player.
I am analytical, detail-oriented, and action-forward. I am also damned smart, funny, and good-looking. Considering that you are probably an engineering company, I have one of the attributes you constantly fail to find in first time job candidates - namely, I am FEMALE. I know the glass ceiling is cracking, but I can give your company the appearance of its disappearance. That being said, I can handle a paddle bit better than most guys, so nobody better mess with me - at least not too much. However, my extensive pop culture knowledge and constant smart-assery will help me fit in with any team of shy nerdy males. I can handle working alone or working in groups, and I even won some really cool award for teamwork once. I can bring diversity to your (probably) pretty homogeneous group.
In conclusion, PLEASE HIRE ME! I'm a nice person. I'm really hoping you call or email me first, but I will call you as soon as I work up the guts. I am looking forward to talking to you soon. Thank you for your kind, benevolent, amazing, unbelievable amount of consideration.
Sincerely,
Regards, with all due respect,
Best,
P.S. I make killer chocolate chip cookies ☺. PLEASE HIRE ME!
No comments:
Post a Comment