Hello all - I know I haven't posted a lot recently, and I know some of my regulars have been a bit miffed about it. However, I know this post will likely draw a reaction.
So here's what you missed: Interning for Disney was a fantastic experience where I met some amazing people and worked on some really cool stuff. Most of it is not anything that you'd hear about, like fire alarm systems, bridge repairs, roofs, and other stuff, but I have come away with a much better understanding of how to construct basically anything and everything. Seriously, I worked on everything from ADA compatibility adjustments to zoo enclosures.
I'm currently at summer school. working to catch up on what I missed.
Part of the reason I didn't post anything was that Disney has a fairly draconian, slightly ambiguous social media policy (despite the look of attempted officialness, Blogger is very much so a social media platform) especially with regards to stuff that hasn't happened or been announced yet (not that most of what I worked on would be or will be announced).
The other part involves a confession.
I have an addiction.
I've had it since I was little, and it's steadily gotten worse over time as I have gained access and knowledge. I don't think it's debilitating; in fact, at some points in my life, it's been rather helpful. I have an inking that part of it is inherited. The good stuff causes extreme dopamine rushes to my brain's pleasure center, but I still devour the mediocre and even the awful stuff with gluttonous abandon.
Ever since I was little, I have had an unrelenting addiction to stories, in all shapes, sizes, genres, and mediums. Stories let me get out of my own self-destructive head and into someone else's head. Stories make me laugh, stories make me cringe, stories make me need stay up late at night to find out what happens next. I can't go more than a few days without a fix. My library, my friends, the Irish guys at the fair, movies, books, games, comedy, the works - I can't get away from it, but I don't want to.
So here's the reason that goes along with that - I've always wanted to have my own adventure, have something that someone could write a story about, to discover the world. This past semester was a kind of bizarre attempt at a build-your-own bildugsroman - my own personal dramatic coming of age story.
I've come to the realization that a lot of what I have, and a lot of the major decisions that I've made are not entirely my own - and I know that's not a bad thing. However, I've become rather disillusioned after realizing that almost nothing significant that I have achieved has been achieved because I wanted it first. I needed something I could claim as my own, something that I could go for, something that I worked for and earned, and this internship happened to be just what I needed - a Bueller-esque chance to stop and look around around before I miss what I'm told is the prime of my life. It also gave me the freedom to take complete and total responsibility for my own path, and my own mistakes - and that was glorious. I had some time to reflect and think about where I - not my parents, not my friends, not my relatives - where I want my life, my own story, to go. And it's going to be epic.
Here's the thing - a lot what I've posted here over the years is disingenuous. I am very cognizant of my audience, that they want to hear that everything is hunky dory, that I love my classes, that I love life. (Otherwise, I get weird probing anonymous comments.) Sometimes, that's true - everything has been all good. A lot of times, it's definitely not. Last fall was the worst semester of my life, grade-wise, and probably health-wise. There were times when I obsessed over what would happen if I just disappeared, quit, moved out of the picture. I am no longer homesick, but despite having gone all across America, there are still very few places where I feel like I fit in well at all.
No, I don't think I'm gay (not that that would be bad), and don't worry, I've never been suicidal.
But here's the thing - after this "semester abroad," after actually making friends that I can still talk to, after literally driving across the country, I've gained some perspective. I've realized that I have changed dramatically since freshman year.
I still want to tell my own story, but this blog is not the place to tell it. It was never really mine, and it wasn't even my idea in the first place, and it's never told an entirely genuine tale of who I am. I know there are a lot of fake people on the internet, but I don't want to be one of them. I'm trying hard to get over my own propensity for opportunistic storytelling. I also can't stand the shameless self-promotion and narcissism that running even a mildly successful blog about myself entails.
There are also a lot of other projects that I am working on, art, short stories, opinion pieces, photos, videos, and the like, that this platform is not well equipped to handle.
And then there's this.
And that's why this is going to be the last official Dragon Scales post.
I just can't deal with the lies.
It's just not working for me any more.
It's not you, it is most definitely me.
I know you're all devastated to see it go.
So this is Grace, signing off.
I need to go live my own story.
42.
Wednesday, June 22, 2016
Saturday, January 9, 2016
From Orange County to Orange County... Part 1
Day 0
I hurriedly try to clean up my room and complete everything I've accidentally on purpose left until the last minute. My sister comes by to sit on my suitcase - it zips closed. I rush to the store, buy a good chunk of 80/20 ground beef, and start preparing burgers with all the fixings for my family. We have dinner, then I hug my siblings goodbye. My parents endure the always hectic drive to LAX, where my flight leaves late. I get shuffled through a few different security lines, then find my way to my terminal. The flight is full, so I check my carry-on suitcase, which is barely within size regulations anyway. I get a window seat next to a nice older couple and try to sleep.
Day 1
I arrive in Orlando bright and early at around 7AM local time. I shuffle off the plane, along with the other weary travelers, pick up my luggage, and haggle with the rental car agency. I get out of the airport and order my first and last actual coffee from the nearest Starbucks (a peppermint mocha) in order to make sure that I am awake. I sit and drink my coffee for a bit and try to plan my day. I end up going to Downtown Winter Garden, where my hotel is located. This little strip is disgustingly cute - all semi-southern charm and still dressed up for Christmas. I walk the conveniently located bike path until I find an open bathroom. I go back to my car and decide to check out Walt Disney World, since I'm going to be working for the next few months. I find my way to Disney Springs, the East Coast equivalent of Downtown Disney, then park and wander for a while. I notice there's a ton of construction going on, both on the roads and in the resort areas. I head back to Winter Garden to check into my hotel - the Edgewater. It's a restored B+B that looks alternatively cute and charming or like some old hangman ghost is going to wander into my room at night, but the people running it seem nice. I chill out in my room, then go for a walk again, then turn in for the night.
Day 2
I'm up and ready to go early because my breakfast time is 8AM. I get pretty good fried eggs, sausage, and toast. The owner of the hotel is there and tells me stories about when he used to work as a costumer for Disney. After searching the Internet for cost effective things to do in Orlando area, I decide to go to Rollins College, which is supposed to have an amazing free art museum. It turns out that that art museum is closed to rotate out the collection. I wander the campus for a while, crash their library, and go up the (relatively short) tower there. I decide to return to earth. I walk their equivalent of University Drive, and find a local park with a sort of sculpture garden among the pseudo-high end shops. Some of the installations are strange, but the idea is pretty interesting. I've walked a few miles by this point, but I see signs for a "Morse Museum." Thinking this is probably some funky technology showcase, I follow the signs and end up at a beautiful building, and notice that student admission is only a dollar. I pay admission, and find that the museum is almost totally dedicated to Tiffany glass art, including tons of windows, an abundance of lamps, lots of pottery, and a full colored glass encrusted chapel. I head back to the hotel, then grab a pretty dang good pulled pork sandwich from a quick-service place from across the street (I swear the cashier dude was flirting). I go to Disney Springs again, this time for a pre-arranged pre-check-in meeting with some other interns. We end up eating at the bowling alley (go figure), and I meet a bunch of great people, most of whom I will probably never see again. I go back to the hotel, pack up, and set my alarm.
To Be Continued shortly....
I hurriedly try to clean up my room and complete everything I've accidentally on purpose left until the last minute. My sister comes by to sit on my suitcase - it zips closed. I rush to the store, buy a good chunk of 80/20 ground beef, and start preparing burgers with all the fixings for my family. We have dinner, then I hug my siblings goodbye. My parents endure the always hectic drive to LAX, where my flight leaves late. I get shuffled through a few different security lines, then find my way to my terminal. The flight is full, so I check my carry-on suitcase, which is barely within size regulations anyway. I get a window seat next to a nice older couple and try to sleep.
Day 1
I arrive in Orlando bright and early at around 7AM local time. I shuffle off the plane, along with the other weary travelers, pick up my luggage, and haggle with the rental car agency. I get out of the airport and order my first and last actual coffee from the nearest Starbucks (a peppermint mocha) in order to make sure that I am awake. I sit and drink my coffee for a bit and try to plan my day. I end up going to Downtown Winter Garden, where my hotel is located. This little strip is disgustingly cute - all semi-southern charm and still dressed up for Christmas. I walk the conveniently located bike path until I find an open bathroom. I go back to my car and decide to check out Walt Disney World, since I'm going to be working for the next few months. I find my way to Disney Springs, the East Coast equivalent of Downtown Disney, then park and wander for a while. I notice there's a ton of construction going on, both on the roads and in the resort areas. I head back to Winter Garden to check into my hotel - the Edgewater. It's a restored B+B that looks alternatively cute and charming or like some old hangman ghost is going to wander into my room at night, but the people running it seem nice. I chill out in my room, then go for a walk again, then turn in for the night.
Day 2
I'm up and ready to go early because my breakfast time is 8AM. I get pretty good fried eggs, sausage, and toast. The owner of the hotel is there and tells me stories about when he used to work as a costumer for Disney. After searching the Internet for cost effective things to do in Orlando area, I decide to go to Rollins College, which is supposed to have an amazing free art museum. It turns out that that art museum is closed to rotate out the collection. I wander the campus for a while, crash their library, and go up the (relatively short) tower there. I decide to return to earth. I walk their equivalent of University Drive, and find a local park with a sort of sculpture garden among the pseudo-high end shops. Some of the installations are strange, but the idea is pretty interesting. I've walked a few miles by this point, but I see signs for a "Morse Museum." Thinking this is probably some funky technology showcase, I follow the signs and end up at a beautiful building, and notice that student admission is only a dollar. I pay admission, and find that the museum is almost totally dedicated to Tiffany glass art, including tons of windows, an abundance of lamps, lots of pottery, and a full colored glass encrusted chapel. I head back to the hotel, then grab a pretty dang good pulled pork sandwich from a quick-service place from across the street (I swear the cashier dude was flirting). I go to Disney Springs again, this time for a pre-arranged pre-check-in meeting with some other interns. We end up eating at the bowling alley (go figure), and I meet a bunch of great people, most of whom I will probably never see again. I go back to the hotel, pack up, and set my alarm.
To Be Continued shortly....
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